”Felicity handed me a plastic cup with champagne. We toasted to Rose’s health. The conversation turned to surgeries, of which Felicity surprisingly knew a great deal. Even Olivia was fascinated. I daydreamed until I realized Rose was staring at me.“Felicity told me,” she whispered.My heart sank. I didn’t have to ask what. “I’m so sorry.”“Even if he’s only given 5, we’ll figure it out.” She nodded to herself as if she was attempting to convince herself. Her head fell back against the pillow; she looked unbelievably exhausted.“Let’s not worry about that yet. He’s going to get what he deserves somehow.”Her lips twitched into a tiny smile. “You’re so fierce sometimes.” I smiled and she took my hand again. “I love you. For everything you’ve done.”I was too choked up to respond.The nurse came in at some point, looking less than thrilled over how many people were crowding the room. She checked Rose out while we all watched in silence. When she finished with a smile, we could all breathe. "No, really, I think you'd look attractive as a girl! It's a compliment,"Beth said."Thanks, I guess." You already have a great fashion sense. We just might have to help youwith hair and make-up a little." And my voice." No, you have a very feminine voice already," Beth said."Thanks," I said again, not exactly hiding my contempt."But it's beautiful voice. That's another compliment." If you say so." Being feminine isn't a negative thing, you know. I'd always appreciatedthe fact that you were so comfortable with yourself." Comfortable with myself how, exactly?" You know," she said. "You're not afraid to shirk conventionalexpectations of gender expression to be yourself." I'm not?" Come on, Loren. Surely you knew this about yourself." "I never thought about what I did or why; I just did what felt natural." See, and that's what I've always loved about you."Silence."Do you see me as a guy?" I asked.She locked eyes with me but looked conflicted."I'd like to think that I see you as you, and.
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